This all seems very small right now

My father died a few days ago after a short illness.

Suddenly, all of this seems unbelievably self-involved and unimportant.

But I'm also overwhelmed by a sense of loss over my ex. This is probably normal - grief bringing up other, unresolved, grief. But I fear that I'll be so alone when I leave my family in a few days, missing her will be as fresh as it was months ago.

I have to write a eulogy now; I already wrote the obituary. Everybody knows I'm the writer of the family. If they only knew the confessional self-obsessed crap I mostly write about. I feel ashamed.